On Tuesday night, I ordered stuff I needed. I've been a little out of it lately and it was time to re-enter the land of the living. So I ordered seven items. I could have had Thursday delivery for half of them, but since one package could only arrive on Friday, I accepted Friday for both. By that time, I would need what I ordered and it gave me a couple more days to get sorted out health-wise.
Two of the products, chiefly a new bath mat for the one I tore up in the aftermath of my bathtub misadventure, were not Amazon.ca products. The others were. Including another product I needed (and had needed for about ten days). But those two-non Amazon products were in different packages.
Why couldn't Amazon put everything in one box? Ask them. I dunno. This is a company that routinely fires warehouse and driver personnel for not working at the pace of robots. But putting everything in one box was asking too much. Oh by the way, I'm still a Prime customer against my will (see other posts) AND I live less than three miles from an Amazon distribution centre AND I requested everything arrive the same day.
You can see where this is going.
I got a box on Friday. Delivered before noon and with a smile and some patience by THE AMAZON DRIVER!!! Yeah!!!!
The other box? With the needed stuff?
Not so much. (insert whatever 13-word curse-laden phrase you think I said out loud. You're probably right. And if not so, then it's milder than the language I used)
The ... let's call them zombies, again, I use stronger words, but Mom might read this ... delivered my package to the post office in the next town over. Not to the post office a block from the end of my street. The NEXT BLINKETY-BLANK TOWN AWAY. Not the post office Amazon and I share. THE NEXT TOWN OVER!
And we don't have Saturday delivery in our area from the Post Office.
So, NOW, the track parcel page for my order from Amazon now PROUDLY PROCLAIMS, "Your parcel can still arrive 27 April-30 April." And oh ya, "Was expected Friday 26 April."
Further curse words, blah, blah, blah.
THIS is what having Prime gets you. The same Prime Amazon has recently said will change to One-Day delivery for all Prime customers, down from the Two-Day GUARANTEE.
More curse words, more blah, more blah, and I almost typed the big one to finish it off.
Amazon. Another word for ... well ... cursing. Amazoning. Just try it. Use Amazon in place of every naughty word you know. It'll make you feel good and nobody who might be offended will even notice.
'Cept Jeff Bezos. But I'm the last thing THAT adulterer is thinking about.
By the way, why did I order IMPORTANT stuff from Amazon? I needed it and I needed it quickly, which being house-bound makes difficult. I also thought it was such a small order (although 130-plus dollars after taxes and shipping) that they could simply NOT Amazon it up.
I was wrong.
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