Thursday, July 01, 2004

RANT: You know you are a moron when ...

With due deference to Jeff Foxworthy, I frequently find myself shaking my head at the sheer idiocy of those I meet when I leave my cave. I call them "You know you are a moron when ..." moments.

As previously commented upon, I went to see Spiderman 2 with most of the Movie Mob. That's four kids, ranging from eight to 16. I bought the tickets yesterday and got the mob to the theatre 35 minutes before the stated showtime. Even that early, we had to settle for the fifth row from the back, rather than the normal second-last row. It was a blockbuster movie's opening day. Not surprisingly, each showing was pretty well sold out.

So why were groups of between two and SIX people showing up close to the start time, including one pair of adult escapees from a lunatic asylum, who came up to the top rows looking for seats AS the opening credits rolled.

Forget the fact that even a near-sighted old coot like me can see that complete rows at the back are filled, FROM the walkway at the front. These less-elderly chumps STILL feel obligated to go to the top row, look down at the row of faces focused on the coming attractions (or the opening credits in the one case) and then slowly wander down row by row before settling in the first couple of rows as they were always fated to do.

I've arrived late. I know the penalty. I seat the mob in as high in the lower section as I can find and settle back for a crick-in-the-neck-inducing movie experience. Sometimes, I have to split the mob into more than one row.

You know you are a moron when ... you arrive late to a blockbuster movie's opening day and expect a prime seat while be awaiting you and your horde just because you are so special.

Morons!

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