The phone rings. I'm enjoying the last few minutes of dreamy slumber or a much-needed afternoon nap. The Oriental-sounding voice on the other end asks, "Is Mister Gary there?" I feel the urge to get up, get dressed, fly to Vancouver BC, hunt down the owners of the Canadian Gift Centre and shoot them all. And their little dogs too.
I don't believe in guns, hate to fly, and tend not to go out at this time of the year. So the people connected with this bothersome nuisance need not get a protection order and bodyguards to protect themselves from me. But ....
The first phone call I got from this concern came during my little bout with the flu. The caller told me I had a certificate. I told him I wasn't interested. He called back. I screamed at him. That should have been the end of it. It wasn't. Today's afternoon nap was ended by a familiar voice after answering that annoying ring. Once again, Mr. Gary was asked for. He got as far as identifying the concern. I hung up. Phone rang again. I screamed I wasn't interested and hung up. It's been silent since. The urge has passed. The need to rant hasn't.
Canada does not have a DO NOT CALL list, yet. It's supposed to happen this year. Since I occasionally fantasize about solitary confinement in prison affording me all the time I need to read, it can't happen soon enough.
Unwanted phone calls fall into three categories: scammers, charities and service cold-callers. I spent a week doing the second type. I knew what I was doing and knew I was doing wrong. I stopped doing it. It's for that reason I have less patience with people who take on these woefully underpaid, soul-crushing jobs. Find something else. Anything else. You will benefit.
The scammer I want most desperately to have found and shut down now is the group who calls, informing me that I, or a member of my family, have filled out a travel survey and I have now won a prize or a free trip. That phone call ends quickly too, usually with a curse. First, I don't travel. I LIKE my home, with its constant 72 degree temperature year round, lots of entertainment handy and a perfectly designed commode for my reading needs. It's quiet, too. Why would I want to leave it? As for family members filling out a travel survey on my behalf? None live closer than 40 minutes away. My extended family knows exactly how I feel about travel and would no sooner co-operate with one of these surveys than they would put a wet finger into an electrical socket. They'd know I would force them to do such a thing as punishment. So, these folks are LYING blatantly with the first words out of their mouths. They don't deserve civility beyond not letting loose with a whole string of curses as I hang up the phone.
But they HAVE had one other lasting effect. I now no longer participate in opinion polls. You know the ones. They show up on the evening news as "According to XXXXXX, 82 per cent of Canadians now feel the CRTC should speed up the development of the DO NOT CALL List." Can't give the creeps with the free trips the benefit of the doubt.
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