Saturday, August 22, 2009

SPORTS: Here's One Heatley Idea I Haven't Heard

Sue the bum.

Just once, I would like a pro sports team to tell the star that screws them with words and deeds to see them in court. Wait, I mean twice. Because the ONE organization that has done this in the past is the self-same Ottawa Senators that are now being put through the wringer again by a player. Although I hesitate to call Dany Heatley a player. Players have hearts. He's missing one. Players have brains. His behaviour and expectations that this week's 'press conference' paints him in a team-oriented light obviously shows he has a deficiency there too. He deserves plenty bad to happen to him where ever he takes his ghost act to in the future. Might I suggest the KHL?

Ottawa once had a bonehead named Alexei Yashin. He took his money and figure-skated his way through games as if he hadn't a care in the world, save for what time Carol Alt was getting home. He was despicable too. And when he thought he could get his money and not even do the figure-skating part, a judge told him "Bad guess, bub."

Heatley has the ultimate legal enforcer this time around. He has a piece of paper signed by the team that says you can't waive me, trade me, or otherwise trouble me with silly team rules. And since you changed coaches on me (again) and this new twerp insists I play both ends of the ice, I'm going to force you to trade me. But I'm not telling you where, you have to guess. And if I don't like my would-be new coach and place to stow my gear, I'll just exercise my no-trade rights. Is this not one of the signs of the apocalypse? Trade me ... and I'll tell you where.

There is nothing honourable or praiseworthy about this cement-head. His actions, through word and mis-deed, have harmed the Senators. He's a monumental embarrassment to hockey and one can only hope that Steve Yzerman understands how destructive a personal prima donna like him would be to Canada's hopes of winning back hockey gold at the Olympics in Vancouver in February. I won't watch that exercise if it includes Heatley. I couldn't stand the shame of cheering for the guy.

All of this is just posturing of course. Nobody wants Heatley at the price and demands he comes with. Ottawa will have to retain and play him (although Eugene Melnyk could become a national hero by telling him to bide his time in his own personal hell, but that won't happen). Any Senator willing to blacken both of his eyes would be similarly blessed with hosannas and I'm sure there's an Edmonton Oiler or seven who might take up the fight... so to speak.

Until that happens ... and surely SOME good Canadian boy will make it happen, the dream remains. Sue the bum.

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