SPORTS: One Gotta Go

Last night, as I watched my two TV's where both Toronto teams imploded, the horror was occurring on the big screen. That was the one where the Toronto Argonauts were laying a large egg at home. Sound up, big pic, and I didn't even have the comfort of the small screen where the Toronto Blue Jays were coughing up a 2-0 lead in New York to Brett Gardiner and the Yankees. I guess it's true that you can't take your eyes off a train wreck.

Monday at the latest, the Argonauts have to say good-bye to either offensive coordinator Jaime Elizondo or to Chet Lemon's hold on the starting quarterback position. Heck, it should happen today.

At issue is the Argo offensive policy of throwing about 101 percent of their passes in the -5 to 5 yard zone. If that's Elizondo's decision, than his butt should be lined with aluminum cans and dragged down the under-construction Gardiner Expressway until he's far enough out of town for the 'stupid' stench to wear off. Yes, I know that that system works in Montreal. Lemon isn't Anthony Calvillo. And exactly NONE of the Argo wideouts could start in Montreal and maybe only one would get part-time minutes. Installing a plan without the parts is beyond dumb.

So, assuming Elizondo isn't an idiot of the level of an American Republican Presidential Candidate, then Chet "The Losing Bet" Lemon needs a seat on the bench. That bench has been propped up by Dalton "Never to see the field again" Bell, who proved utterly inadequate last night and B.J. Hall. Yes fans, there is a B.J. Hall on the squad. And last night, from field level, we got our first glimpse at Steven Jyles, he of the high draft pick cost this past spring.

And if Jyles doesn't take ALL the first-team reps this week, then Jim Barker, who survived the internal power struggle with Adam Rita, should go visit Rita and be fired ASAP. Barker cannot send Lemon out for the rematch with B.C. His players know Lemon's a nice, but inadequate QB. They want to win. And Lemon going 11 for 15 with three drops for FIFTY-ONE yards is not going to cut it. They know he can throw longer, but he needs plenty of time to do that. Time he'd get if they ran Boyd more often, or faked it. Say, isn't that Elizondo's decision?

I know the Argo receiving corps is barely as good as that group starting at St. F. X. But they all run their little routes in linebacker-patrolled territory and we wonder why they suddenly develop accordion arms. Stretch the field so that everybody doesn't bunch their whole defence within 15 yards of the line and maybe something good will happen. The problem is, if the Argos misfire on a first-down bomb, the WHOLE BLEEPIN' LEAGUE know Lemon will try a five-yarder on second down and hope for a few broken tackles.

I like the CFL better than NFL because I know the average CFL game is more entertaining than the average NFL game. In fact, barring having money or a roto rooting interest, it's more like a 3-1 bet the CFL game is better. Unless we are talking Toronto. 'Cuz, when the rooting interest fades here, the game's no better than a scoreless friendly soccer game.

Maybe the solution should be two-fold. No Elizondo. No Lemon. That way you get the culprit for sure.