Friday, September 19, 2008

SPORTS: It All Started with Arland Bruce III -- Spidey!

I hate grandstanding idiots at football games, and no, I'm not talking about the clowns who get all liquored up and do a runaround until tackled by policeman. No, I'm talking about self-aggrandizing idiots on football teams. Most of them are receivers. They scheme and pray for a chance to do something post-touchdown that will end up with their mug splashed all over the sports show nightly highlights. They put themselves above their teammates in doing this, although inevitably these days, they have help in showing how big of an idiot they are.

The Toronto Argonauts are not having a good season. But it was an okay season right up until a moment in the team's last win--over similarly woeful Hamilton--when Arland Bruce III, an oft-forgotten superstar receiver this year, needed some attention real bad. He scored a touchdown, then went into a huddle near the endzone wall, from which he emerged wearing a Spiderman mask. Leaving aside the trademark infringement, it was a classless act from a player I'd thought pretty classy up until this Terrell Owens'-level act of narcissism.

And please spare me the attempts to legitimize this and acts like it, as increased entertainment. Football is a team sport. Possibly the ultimate team sport. For one player to act like the cock of the walk while the guys who protected the guy who got him the ball walk to the sideline in relatively poor-paid anonymity, is vanity run amok.

Apparently, the act has divided the team. Half the team suffers the fool for being sublimely talented, the other half, the real old pros, hope he breaks his head real soon. It's embarassing to see a teammate carry on like he'd never scored a touchdown before. Since that time, the Argos have played like a team divided, costing several people their jobs and embarassing the whole city, no less the team. Openly, it was discussed if the Argos would benefit just cutting Bruce from the team, assuming no self-respecting CFL side would want to trade for arguably one of the three best receivers in the league. Bruce remains. That's sad.

Of course, Bruce is just mimicking the nauseating behaviour of the enfants terrible from the NFL. Chad Ochocinco or whatever name he's chosen for the spotlight has helped the once-promising Cincinatti Bengals plunge to the nether regions of the league. My solution to that issue would have been to issue the former Chad Johnson sweater 13 when he showed up for work this fall. And the newest idiot in the receiver set, DeSean Jackson of the Philadelphia Eagles, has proven he has an IQ roughly equivalent to his sweater number. Showing off by throwing away the ball on an apparent long touchdown, replays showed he pulled the stunt BEFORE crossing the goal-line. And this ignaramous has actually done this BEFORE. So, it's not like he's going to learn from doing it this time. Scorn just olls of this dummy's back, never stopping to stick between the ears.

This is the universe Terrell Owens has wrought. Hope he rots in hell when he inevitably goes.

No comments: