This spot was going to be a rant about idiot networks putting their studio show out in the stands, on the playing floor or in the lobby at sporting events. Something else came up.
I had the Giants plus the ridiculous point spread in the Super Bowl tonight but thought the chances of the Giants actually winning were slim and none. Wasn't sure what kind of game it would be, low or high scoring. But I knew the Patriots weren't close to two touchdown favourites. As Bob McCown had pointed out, three New England Super Bowls all had a winning margin of three points, so 17-14, 24-21, 31-28. They all had possibilities.
Turns out, the late season recipe for giving New England headaches stayed true to form. Rush the passer hard and make the Patriots beat you medium range passing. Philadelphia and Baltimore each demonstrated that in the regular season before bad breaks and bad officiating handed the game back to the Patriots. New York showed the formula worked for three quarters in the season-ender. Oh, and the offence had to score a few points and run the ball enough to give the defence rest.
After one half, New England led 7-3, but the game was the Giants' for the most part. A badly-timed penalty hurt the good guys' cause and a deflection off a rookie's hands hurt more. Otherwise, the margin might have been reversed or worse at the half. I naturally avoided wasting my time with the half-time show of oldies that were no longer goodies. I managed to get in the pilot episode of Californication. Fit perfectly.
The first supposed turning point in the game came in the third quarter when Bill "The Brain" Belichek called for a replay on what would have been a turnover on downs. His staff caught a Giant still on the field when the ball was snapped. That man was the literal twelfth man, rather than the figurative one dominating the stands. Thought to myself that it was a guarantee that the Pats would take the ball, ram it into the end zone and decide the game. The Giants held. And Destiny peeked around the corner and said, "Let's play some football!"
Once the Giants survived the third quarter with the score unchanged, it was now a cinch my bet would cover. And when Eli Manning (Super Manning II) threw a strike to David Tyree for the go-ahead score, the possibility became concrete. The Perfect Season might not be.
Just a few minutes later, the Giants were once more in possession of the ball. Manning, like Peyton, hardly a gazelle, evaded the rush and lofted a pass to a wide open Plaxico Burress. A first down and more time off the clock was assured. Announcer Troy Aikman showed the replay, suggesting a touchdown had been possible. All for naught as the ball fluttered to the ground. The Giants had to kick away. I went to the kitchen and cleaned up the dinner plates. It was queasy time.
Down the field marched the Patriots. The fairy tale had been told, and the wicked, nasty Patriots were not going to let a happy ending end their Perfect Season. Tom Brady, the man both Mannings are told is the best quarterback in football, passed this way and that way, mostly to Wes Welker. And every now and then, he'd throw it to Randy Moss, the sublimely talented, yet ill-thought of wide receiver. A man who once intentionally drove his car at a female police officer, a quitter on every team he's played for, before coming to New England, caught the would-be winning score with little more than two minutes left on the clock.
The thud you heard were the hearts and hopes of every football fan outside of Boston in the whole world. A valiant try had come up just short. I turned out the lights and sat in the dark to watch the last few minutes of shattering hope.
But a funny thing happened on the way to the credits for The Perfect Season. Super Manning II kept evading the grasp of the tiring Patriot rushers. He kept throwing the ball up for grabs. And when Tyree managed a one-headed, eventually two-handed catch deep in Patriot territory, the rush for the exits reversed. And a half-minute before the game's proverbial midnight hour, the Patriots were struck down. Manning to Burress, wide open a second time, became the touchdown that ended it all.
This fairy tale had a happy ending after all.
It turns out you can't cheat and win them all. Running up the score eventually comes back to haunt you. Acting like the world and the media are beneath you costs you karma points just when you need them the most.
Congratulations Miami Dolphins, you of the ONLY Perfect Season. And congratulations to the New York Giants, who slew the giant foe and made the land feel all is right again. Sigh.
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