Thursday, February 14, 2008

SPORTS: Clemens, What Else?

The TV brought me Roger Clemens equivocating on-screen and the mail brought me this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue. The connection? Athlete's wives in skimpy bikinis. A few years ago, the Clemens's were part of that feature. As we found out yesterday, Debbie Clemens worried enough about her appearance there to take Human Growth Hormone. But her husband NEVER EVER touched the stuff.

Gimme a break.

Two days before Roger the Dodger appeared before the Congress, his lawyer said reports she had also been injected with HGH were bogus. She have NEVER EVER touched the stuff.

The problem with Clemens' story is that it changes as new evidence and witnesses show up. If you can't tell the same story twice in a row, the odds are pretty good you are lying. And his only defence is that the weasel telling MOST of the stories against him is too slimy to be believed. 'Cept the weasel's story keeps getting verified by various members of the Clemens retinue and circle of friends. If the DNA evidence on the long-kept steroidal equivalent of Monica's dress proves out, then Clemens is done. He'll be tossed in jail, given no better or worse treatment than Martha Stewart.

Even if the evidence ends up being inconclusive, Clemens is no better than Mark McGwire, a non-admitted cheat, in my mind. A key difference is whether Clemens actually ever gets convicted of those charges. If not, he'll get into the Hall of Fame, whereas McGwire didn't deserve to get in there anyway. His taking the fifth, rather than touting his innocence, probably cost him his actual shot at membership. And it's that fact that has probably driven the Clemens Innocence Tour. In strictly a "he said/he said situation," Clemens might have bluffed his way past that portion of the electorate that decided McGwire's potential Hall of Fame membership solely on the steroid issue.

In a Hall that does NOT include Roger Maris, a couple of mammoth home run seasons does not McGwire a Hall-of-Famer make. He was a low-average batter with no speed to speak of. He was barely adequate at first base for a short period of time, less than average other than that. His non-homer numbers scream NO. The big seasons in St. Loo and the fact that Big Red was one of the nicest guys in the game pushed YES to the forefront ... until that fateful day he sat in the same room Clemens did yesterday. All of his charitable work went right out the door that day. And so did his Hall of Fame chances. Nice guy. Not a Hall of Famer.

Now, Clemens is different. Not a nice guy. Never did much in the way of 'charity' that he didn't advertise the hell out of. A team player in that the team came second to his individual goals. And as he got older and discovered just how far management would go to appease him, his sense of 'team' deserted him completely. The man choked on the ultimate stage more often than not. But talent and hard work made him a frequent winner when it didn't count all that much. Win enough and last long enough and you end up with a lot of W's for a career and a Cy Young award or seven. It adds up to a Hall of Fame career.

Unless the born-again drug-haters in the voting pool know you did it with just a little (or more probably, a BIG) help from the local druggie store. Then, the ego-needing capper to a career, a bronze statue in Cooperstown, looks a little iffy.

Thus started the Innocence Tour. It was filled with Clemens ACTING aggrieved. But the frequent refrain was "How do you prove a negative?" How indeed? As long as it was his word against that of McNamee, the politics-style PR campaign looked successful. But then Andy Pettitte and Chuck Knoblauch, the other two outed drug users, both corroborated McNamee. Peripheral witnesses, like Pettitte's wife and a former Clemens nanny also pointed out flaws in the story. Even Debbie Clemens took the lustre off the spin Clemens was throwing out to any and all who would hear.

Not one thing Roger Clemens did or said convinced me he was telling the truth and was the victim of a liar out to save his butt. His taping and later playing of a phone conversation with McNamee was a bizarre example of offered proof that did anything but. Maybe in the Clemens Dimension where he lives a lot, but not here on Earth. His reaching out to his former nanny to talk to her BEFORE testifying? More bad judgment.

Had I a vote, I'd vote no to Clemens. THAT's the message to youths who aspire to play pro sports. Use drugs and you risk losing everything save for the money. If it stops ONE kid from reaching for the needle or bottle of pills, the vote would be worth it. I would be in the minority with the vote. He will get in, maybe having to wait one year as punishment. UNLESS he's convicted. Then all bets are off.

One last thing. Please no more Dan Burton. Whoever in the States keeps voting this idiot into Congress owes everybody an apology.

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