Thursday, February 14, 2008

MAGAZINES: The SI Swimsuit Issue

As mentioned below, that annual ode to impending summer, arrived on a nice blustery, wintry day. The temperature was just a tad below freezing when I opened the door to do the quick snatch and grab out of the mailbox and get back to the warm comfort of the Cave.

I have every swimsuit issue since, I believe, 1967. Plus some assorted issues from before that. I think the feature started in 1961. But I could be wrong. I've been an SI subscriber for MOST of the last 41 years, although a big chunk of that time was covered by Ken Giles giving me HIS collection which filled in the holes nicely.

And it's issues like this year's version that seriously has me thinking about ending that subscription.

It's not that beautiful women in skimpy bathing suits are offensive. Far from it. Cheryl Tiegs on the Amazon River discovering just how transparent a net top can be. 'Nuff said. Every shot gets compared to that one. The overwhelming majority fail. But usually, one a year earns a second gander.

Not this year. The double-sized issue is wall-to-wall swimsuits (and some non-suits) and they're ... nice. No double-takes. And it took forever to 'read' the issue. And when I was done, NOTHING. The issue registered NOTHING on the memory scale. And there wasn't even any sports to balance the babes.

I'm getting to an age where a nubile 20-something isn't as sexy as somebody with experience nearer my own age. Sexy is alway about the POSSIBILITY of sudden nekkidness, not having it blatantly paraded in your face.

Too many pages. Too few memorable images. No Sports. Sort of a waste of a subscribed-to issue for me. Sheer inertia probably will prevent me canceling, but I'm sure hoping I'm around for next February's blahs and a BETTER, SEXIER issue of Sports Illustrated. You know, the one without any sports in it.

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